


A Time Lord's Family Album is a One-Man Affair

by Donna_Immaculata



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: Crack, M/M, Pictures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-26
Updated: 2013-11-26
Packaged: 2018-01-02 17:23:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1059535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donna_Immaculata/pseuds/Donna_Immaculata
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the TARDIS has picked up Jack in <i>The End of Days</i>, Jack meets the Tenth Doctor for the first time and takes a closer look at the Doctor's embarrassing history.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Time Lord's Family Album is a One-Man Affair

**Author's Note:**

> Crack fic written in 2007, before _Utopia_ and long before Eleven.

"You do have real lovely hands, you know", said Jack, as the walls of the TARDIS solidified around him. He hadn't turned around yet. He didn't have to. The Doctor's presence was palpable enough. The air between them, behind Jack's back, seemed to vibrate. "Very manly."

"Why, thank you! I'm very fond of them myself."

Jack whirled around. Standing behind him was a total stranger. Tall and lean, and, even motionless, radiating a hungry energy. Jack's eyes flashed.

"I've been hoping to see the Doctor again." He cocked his head. "Not that I'm complaining."

"You are." The man grinned broadly. "Good to see you, Jack."

"You?" Jack took a few steps forward. "But… how?"

"I died. That day… I died."

"But you're not dead."

"Neither are you. We died and came back to life. Both on the same day."

"You look different." Jack came steadily closer. He reached out and cupped the man's face. "You feel different."

"I regenerated. It's a trick Time Lords have. Cheating death itself."

"And came back in a different body?"

"And came back in a different body."

"It's a good one," breathed Jack, his hand sliding slowly down the Doctor's face, his neck, flattening his palm against his chest. The Doctor's hand came up, covering his, pressing it against his frantic heartbeats.

"I know."

"How often have you done it, then?" Jack asked, later. "Changing your body, I mean?"

"Ooh, a couple of times." The Doctor stood up smoothly and began pulling on his trousers. "I'm older than I look."

"So am I." Jack rolled onto his back, propping his head up on folded arms, and was watching the Doctor lazily. "Still got the same body, though."

"It's a good one." The Doctor grinned. "No need changing it."

"Was there any need to change your body?"

To Jack's surprised amusement, the Doctor actually looked embarrassed. 

"Well? Was there?" Jack pushed himself upright. That did look like fun.

"So, where do you want to go next?" the Doctor asked brightly. His shirt was still unbuttoned and his shoe laces open, but he was already stroking the console with deft hands and pulling levers whose function Jack had only been starting to understand during his last stay on board the TARDIS.

"Come on! Tell me! How bad can it be?"

It was worse.

"Nice, um, hair," Jack said, trying and failing to suppress the grin that pulled on the corners of his mouth.

"Yeah, well…"

"…And I can see you had a fabulous dress sense."

"That was… the fez… well, my granddaughter bought that for me."

"The girl who stares so, ah, adoringly at you? By the way - I do hope you have a different dentist now."

"That was 900 years ago. _Way_ before dentistry."

"What's this? A girl _and_ a boy? I knew it!"

"My travel companions…"

"I'm sure they were."

"…And this, I suppose, is your sonic screwdriver?"

"Oh, just because yours is bigger…!"

"I really have to again commend you on your dress sense!"

"What? That was a perfectly acceptable travelling cloak!"

"Yeah, I can see the ladies liked your style."

"I think she's watching the console… Yeah, definitely, she's interested in what I'm doing with my hand - there."

"I'm not surprised."

"Oh! Oh. Nice, um, hair."

"Look, I don't have a _choice_ when it comes to a new body."

"She doesn't seem to mind."

"None of them has ever minded. Until _you_ came along and started to point things out."

"I bet they didn't mind that! - Well, apart from the crazy dress sense again. - But nice crotch!"

"Why, thank you. I was rather pleased with it myself."

"So was she, huh?"

"You bet."

"She, on the other hand, had to endure quite a lot. I don't know where to start!"

"Just leave it, then."

"Okay, your dress sense was surpassed only by your choice of accessories."

"I think I still have that umbrella stashed somewhere in the wardrobe room…"

"Oh dear God!"

"Look, did you like those hats you used to wear? Or was it an attempt to hide the hair?"

"What's wrong with the hair?"

"Speaking of hair, you really do dig blondes, doncha?"

"I can't deny blond has got a certain appeal, yes."

"She's…"

"…blonde-ish."

"Nothing compared with your lovely curls, though. Dude!"

"Oh, just shut up!"

"Ah. Yeah. That's better."

"And I believe you remember her?"

"I certainly do. I'm surprised you do, though. After the sheer numbers of - What did you call them? Travel companions? - you've apparently gone through."

"She was the only one I "went through" with that body, though!"

"Oh, was she?"

"The only girl, I mean."

"Oh, _was_ she?"

"You know, Jack, I think you're giving my old bodies too much thought. Why not turning your attention to the new one, eh?"

"Good point!"


End file.
